When people read the things that I write on this Blog, I want them to:

- Cry. (Happy tears, or sad tears- it doesn't matter to me.)

- Have a sudden burst of self-confidence and self-worth. For example, maybe a tormented soul will have some kind of life-affirming moment while reading one of my passages, causing this person to abstain from jumping off a bridge- or something like that.

- Post comments in my 'Comments' section that say things along the lines of: "I'm so jealous that you can word things so perfectly and beautifully and intelligently! You are everything that I want to be as a writer! You are SO smart!"

- When I walk into class I want everyone to get really quiet all of the sudden, and start whispering things to one another- things like, "Ooooo...It's him! It's him! It's the guy that wrote that one thing that was SO AMAZING! Look at how mysterious he is!"

- I want my Professors to secretly adore me more than they adore any of the other students. For example, if we are having on-on-one appointments with our Professors, I want them to make you feel like they think that you are special and great- but when I come in for my appointment, we sit there for like, an hour, just shooting the breeze and talking about our favorite authors and novels. One Professor might ask me if I want to assume teaching responsibilities while they're gone to see a Nephew get married in Nebraska. I'll accept, and I'll come into class and I'll give an amazing discourse on 'Judge Holden', and everyone will wish that I was the real Professor.

- I want all of my fellow students to desperately try and become my friend. They do this because I'm just the kind of friend that everyone needs. But, unfortunately, I just won't have enough time for everyone. But every once in a while I'll make time for, perhaps, one of the not-so-popular/intelligent kids in my class. For example, maybe I'll put my arm around one of these tepid beings in the hall, and I'll tell this person something like, "You know, (insert name), you're tryin' too hard, Brother(or Sister). Listen to this- Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Then I'll stop this person in the hall, in a spot where warm sunlight is beaming down and illuminating us from an open window located somewhere above, and I'll put my hands on this persons shoulders, and I'll ask, "Do you know who said that?" And this person will then look into my eyes in absolute wonder and say, "No." And then I'll lean in close, uncomfortably close, almost-kissing-close, and I'll say, in my coarse scholarly voice, "Da Vinci." And then I'll rub my hand over this persons head, thus messing up their nerdy hair.

- Tell all your friends about this Blog. Tell them it's pretty much pointless to follow any other blog– even yours. Tell them it's unlike anything you've ever experienced– in a good way. Then maybe I can get a sponsor and get paid and then maybe Good Morning America will have me on the show and talk to me about how my Blogs' popularity has just EXPLODED all over the planet. And then I'll feel too much pressure from all the fame, and I'll snort too much crack at Eminem's house and I'll end up in some rehab facility with Paris Hilton and Jack Nicholson. And in ten years I'll make a comeback in the form of a cheeky music video that humorously portrays what it's like to be a washed-up Internet sensation.

(I'll be adding to this list as things come to me.)